Mystical Truths Podcast

Marriage, Divorce, & Rock 'n' Roll

• Rebecca Troup • Season 2 • Episode 11

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Ever wondered if happiness is truly a choice when you feel stuck in an unhappy situation?  Ever feel overwhelmed by it all?  Honestly, how can you please everyone else and yourself too?!  You just want to do the right thing, right?  Tune in to this episode for a fresh look at how Source has taught me to navigate troubled waters. 

And while we're talking about feeling pressure to conform, remember when rock and roll was the devil's music?  Sometimes the most vocal people are just wrong.

Be you.  Be free.  Teach by example (you are anyway).

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For personal guidance, you can reach Rebecca at:
MysticalTruths.com
rebecca@mysticaltruths.com

A big Thank You to CreativeCommons.org
Audiorezout. 14.Be Happy.mp3
for the music. Much appreciated!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Mystical Truths podcast. This is Rebecca and I'm really glad you're here. Let's unlock your world. Several years ago, humans decided that making a life-long commitment to a partner was essential to a happy life, especially if that included children. And to make it official, and special vows in a ceremony were added, which is all beautiful, except for the life-long commitment part. It's more true to say I love you and right now I think I want to be with you for my life. I know we all grow and change, so let's have fun and see how this goes.

Speaker 1:

Our individual happiness will always be important. I wrote the wedding vows for my daughter and son-in-law's ceremony and I performed their ceremony and in it I wrote the wedding ring is a never-ending circle. That symbolizes that once love is realized between two people, regardless of how that love plays out in life, it is eternal. And that's true because once a relationship between two souls is formed, it is eternal, but not necessarily in physical life. Once you've made any connection with another person, you've made a connection with their soul and you'll know each other always. You may even share physical lives again at some point, but that does not mean that you have to stay together for the rest of your physical life, whether it's a friendship or a partnership like marriage. It's really a lovely thing when two people find joy together for the rest of their lives, but it's also a beautiful thing when two people recognize that they've grown in different directions and they're okay with that and they decide to follow their happiness by ending that marriage. The vow remains whether or not you remain physically connected to each other.

Speaker 1:

I remember when I was younger, my parents considered divorce and it was much less common back then and I remember thinking, oh, I don't like this. Like, who do I go with? Should I go with my mom or with my dad? And if I go with that one, is the other one going to be okay? And how is this going to happen? They didn't talk much about it, but they worked it out and they stayed together and I thought, okay, well, that's easier, good. But I really knew that they weren't happy and would it have been better for them and then, ultimately, for all of us, if they had found their happiness, even if it wasn't with each other? And, of course, today separation and divorce are more common because we've learned it's always been more likely that we'll grow in different ways than we thought we would.

Speaker 1:

Even if you made your vows to God or as a promise to source, I have absolutely no doubt at all that that loving force would not want anyone to be in an unhappy environment just because they thought they should or because anyone else expected them to. Suffering and self-sacrifice have never been requirements here, at least not from source's perspective and when I say source I mean God, infinite intelligence, whatever you want to put on it that unconditional loving energy. Once joy and happiness for you and for everyone else, just like a caring parent wants for their child. And speaking of children, what is suffering through a bad marriage teaching them? Are we teaching them that your own happiness is not important? You just have to suffer through it, be miserable, be frustrated, be controlled and feel powerless because you made a promise before and because that's what people expect you to do. If you're a good person, I mean, where do we get this stuff? And if your children are threatening you with an ultimatum like you, either have to stay married or I'm not going to talk to you anymore, I won't be a part of your life anymore. What are you teaching them by staying in that marriage? To be powerless, to be controlled by the very ones who love you, that someone else's happiness is more important than your own. Is that what you want to teach your kids? What God would teach that? Also, you know in the vows that I wrote for my daughter and son-in-law I wrote it.

Speaker 1:

It's important to acknowledge that love is more than an emotion. It's the core of who you are. A love commitment, such as marriage, is an intention to share your life and love with your partner. An intention. Happiness is a decision to love life, often to make peace with the variety of this world and to appreciate all that life has to offer. The choice to be happy is re-decided moment by moment, every day. Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned or given to you by another. It is your individual birthright, but you each must claim it. Love and happiness are yours for the taking. Choose individually and unitedly. The future is yours to create. By CAVE.

Speaker 1:

We can choose unitedly to end a marriage. You can choose to respect each other and remain on good terms, especially to teach your children that that's how we do things If we want to have a good life, if we want to be happy. We can be happier if we do this life more separately than we have before. Even if your partner at the time doesn't want to do that, doesn't want to part ways and remain friends, you still can Take the higher ground, be the light that shines For everybody, not just for your children or for your close family members. Even if your former partner, your children, your relatives, friends, won't support you in your decision initially, once they see you're truly happy, they'll come around. I would say to them my well-being is important and so is yours, but we can't choose what that is for anyone but ourselves.

Speaker 1:

We all change over time and sometimes we grow in ways that just no longer match. That just means our time together in that type of relationship is done. We've each gotten all we needed to out of that dynamic. It's time to grow and explore differently. So it's kind of like when two friends swear a vow of lifelong friendship but then eventually life takes one this way, one that way, and it's all good. Because I think it's time that humans stop requiring suffering in the name of God or Source, who never, ever requires or demands or agrees with that.

Speaker 1:

You know one example I was listening recently to a woman talk who was originally from India and she was saying how you know, years ago her family was going through the preparations to arrange marriage for her and she was being groomed her whole life to be a wife and take care of a household and as it got closer to when she would Be forced to marry someone, she decided she just couldn't do it. She knew the whole time it wasn't in her, so she didn't and she left, moved out of the country because she said there wasn't a man in India after that that would marry her, and and she found love and she married and had a happy life. And she discovered along the way that other women learned from what she chose and it empowered them to not be forced into a marriage for the rest of their lives that they didn't want to go into. But here in this country we pick for the most part, I would imagine, we pick our partners and and we do have good intentions we really feel like I, I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and Sometimes that's the case.

Speaker 1:

But this is a big world and we change so much and sometimes that's just in two different ways, and I also think it's time that we just know that, that we can separate and Not be married anymore but still remain on good terms. We can still be friends, we don't have to be married. But I think what happens is people let that go on and on and on until it's just imploding and Then it's hard to find that friendship that was in that love relationship in the past and I think we just let what we think we're supposed to do or what we think maybe God wants us to do I think we let that force us to stay in situations that Just keep chipping away and chipping away and chipping away at any love that was there. Little by little, some of it goes, more of it goes, since some cases you feel no love at all for that person anymore, maybe even anger or frustration, resentment, when it never has to go that far Not for the kids, not for the family, not for the church and certainly not For your creator, because when we're not feeling it it's not there, it's somewhere else. Your happiness just isn't there anymore, and that's okay. Catch it early and Just admit to each other if you're sure that it's just not there anymore or that it's not workoutable.

Speaker 1:

Some people rediscover or discover a new love for each other when they go through questions like should we be together, do we really want to be together, and that's great. But also, sometimes people just discover that, yeah, this, this just really isn't a thing anymore. So let's just keep Respecting each other and honoring each other, because the relationship we had At its core is eternal. But we've got to let ourselves find our happy. So that's marriage and some ideas about divorce.

Speaker 1:

So where did I get the rock and roll part? Well, that, that just kind of came to me as another interestingly odd way that very vocal and opinionated people Tried to ban happiness and fun Because we kind of, at least in the past, went along with what people said we should think or do or not do. So when rock and roll and especially Elvis, of course, were becoming a thing, many people were so against it because they were so sure that the very source of love and fun and freedom did not want people to have too much fun or too much freedom. But rock and roll brought more joy and expansion to this planet than it brought of the opposite. So, even when many people swore it was morally, spiritually, socially wrong or bad or evil, even though there were still enough people that followed their bliss and proved them wrong.

Speaker 1:

So my point is whether you stay in a marriage or not. Find you're happy, because we all have to know where our happy is, on any subject, if we want to feel good, if we want to get the best we can from this life and be the best or offer the best that we can in any given moment to the people that we care about. Because, as a people, especially if we don't find our happy, our individual and collective happy and of course, the collective happy is just ease, it's nothing else, because everybody has a different opinion about what their happy is, and that's a wonderful thing. But if we don't, we're just going to keep continuing to regurgitate the pain and the suffering and the powerlessness that we have for so long now. You know, dr Seuss said don't cry because it's over. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

Speaker 1:

And I think, yes, you did have good times together. You maybe even created some people together. But if what you had has evolved into something that now really just doesn't match for the both of you, then take that first odd and sometimes quirky step and get change going. Find the honey in the now, right now, and then anticipate it going forward, being there ahead of you, because it's just a matter of where your happy is and if you could use help finding your way through whatever it is that you're going through. You can find me at mysticaltruthscom.