Mystical Truths Podcast

Your Most Important Relationship!

• Rebecca Troup • Season 2 • Episode 12

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The most important relationship you have is not with your partner, your family, or even Source /God, but it is actually with yourself. Too often, we become our own worst critic, causing an obstructive relationship with our inner selves and the Source of Creation.  I share personal insights and experiences, hoping to help you spot if you're unintentionally harsh on yourself.

I also share illuminating stories about the devastating effects of self-criticism.  Hear about a doctor battling depression due to his own self-imposed harshness and a man who let embarrassment override his need for help. We'll also see the power of self-love through a woman who overcame bulimia and addiction, learning to love herself unconditionally.  As we shift our focus from external judgments to self-appreciation, we'll find a way to a better relationship with ourselves and Source.  Listen, unlock, and embrace the transformation when kindness becomes your primary language to yourself.

I love and recommend: 
Instagram:  Bruce W. Brackett   bwb.positivity
www.Abraham-Hicks.com

Your Likes, Follows, and Shares are noticed & appreciated.
For personal guidance, you can reach Rebecca at:
MysticalTruths.com
rebecca@mysticaltruths.com

A big Thank You to CreativeCommons.org
Audiorezout. 14.Be Happy.mp3
for the music. Much appreciated!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Mystical Truths podcast. This is Rebecca, and I'm really glad you're here. Let's unlock your world. Your most important relationship is actually not with Source God Infinite Intelligence, as you might have expected me to say. And here's how I came to know that truth.

Speaker 1:

After listening to a client talk about her life and current issues, I asked her do you think you're being hard on yourself? And she said with confidence no, it's not that. But we went on to discover it was exactly that, and she was what people would consider to be a successful, accomplished woman. But, like anybody else, she had a lot of stuff going on in her life and, without realizing it, she was being hard on herself. She was so oblivious to it that it made me wonder am I? Because it's not an obvious kind of thing. So I started self-checking and, yes, I found that I was being critical and hard on myself, not in a noticeably negative way, but in a matter of fact, reality kind of way, and I think it's common. I think that it's an easy thing for us to do. I think it's a habit for maybe everybody, but at least most people, because I thought you know, with all that I've learned, how am I doing this, which then made me harder on myself, for that thought alone that's a critical thought, so that wasn't helping me, but I learned and helped me learn. So it was, and it still is, a great transformational experience. It taught me that the most important relationship is with myself, because that's where Source is, that's where God, infinite intelligence, all the dizziness, source, energy. That's where it's at, it's right here, where I am. If I'm not being loving and non-judgmental to myself, then I'm not being loving and non-judgmental to Source. That's it Right. And that means that we can't really be happy if we're doing that thing over and over and over. I was happy, I was being nice to others, but my relationship with myself definitely had room for improvement.

Speaker 1:

Think about it how often are you kind to yourself? How often are you critical about what you've done or what you're doing? How often are you complimenting yourself? So how do you know if you're inadvertently being hard on yourself and therefore getting in the way of your ease, which is your nature? And of course, there are the obvious things that people do being openly, complaining, putting themselves down openly but there are many less obvious, seemingly random ways that we're just not helping ourselves. One is by re-observing the past over and over and over, the thoughts that you just kind of seem to trip over as you go about your day, where you're thinking about the kuro, shiro, woota, stuff.

Speaker 1:

Just as you go about your day, something brings up a thought from the past, maybe a long ago past or recent past and you have those thoughts of oh what was I thinking? Or I should have been there, for I didn't do that very well, that was embarrassing. Or remembering a time when something didn't go well, or how you thought you screwed something up. I think we have thoughts like this way way, way more often than we should and we spend too much time on them. It's okay when a thought like that pops up. Something just triggers it or reminds you of something in the past. It's fine if something like that pops up, but what are you doing with it? Or are you going to continue to think about that, or do you want to just change your thought? Let that go. Well, that was me back then. We're all learning. I learned a lot from that and then just let it go as best you can, because often we're not even interpreting situations the way others did. But even if we are still got to let it go. It's not going to help you now to be hard on yourself about it or to overthink it or to worry.

Speaker 1:

These things that we do, like self-blame and shame and humiliation and guilt, wasted energy, not helping, not helping you have your best relationship with yourself. And then, of course, source. Another way is by comparing who you are, or your body, your personality, your accomplishments, your family, your life, to others or to your past. We're supposed to be different or supposed to be ever changing, and it's important to make your peace with that. So comparing who you are, what you look like, what your personality is like, what you think your issues are, how far you've come in life, comparing yourself and downing yourself for any of that obviously is going to interfere with you. It's going to interfere with how good you feel and then how good things work out for you, because it's always an inside job. It always has to start right here, where you're at.

Speaker 1:

And then another one is like repeatedly telling yourself bogus stories that say things like, in a nutshell I'm not enough, I'm not doing my best. I really should push myself and demand excellence, because you know that motivates me to be better. I'll perform better and improve if I criticize myself. That's not correct. That's like paddling upstream Instead, praise yourself, love yourself, expect good things to happen for you because you love yourself, not because you're doing such a good job out there in the world. So all of this stuff is being hard on yourself. Like I should be not eating this, doing more like those people. I should be happier. I should be a better example Somewhere. I'm not. I should be getting more done in a day. I should be healthier. I should be meditating. I should not be doing this. I should not be, but I'm doing it, but I should not be doing it, but I'm doing it, but I should not be doing it. That's all beating up on yourself. That's all making your experience here harder, not because anybody else is doing it, but because you are doing it.

Speaker 1:

You know, source says to us and this is an Abraham Hicks quote. So this is source saying we want you to be nice to yourself. That's why you want a relationship. You want someone to be nice to you. So why don't you just be nice to yourself? Be nice to yourself and see what happens, you know, and whether any of those things that I just mentioned are true or not doesn't matter. You thinking thoughts about them is the real problem. It's making them true, first of all, and second of all, it's not taking you into a better place within yourself, which means you can't get to a better place with source. So, as you do any of those, you're quietly and innocently not meaning to maybe sabotaging what's next for you, what's coming again and again, and again. And so how do you untie those harsh judgments? It's pretty simple. Like everything else in life, we just have to find the ease. Like I always say, look for the honey. But now you're not looking for the honey out there in your experiences and other people. You're looking for the honey right here, where you're at, because that's the starting point of positive change. If you think, you know, I just have to accept and love me all I am if I'm gonna be truly happy. Have you ever had a pet or a friend who was not perfect but who you adored? Do that for you. That's what Source is doing for you.

Speaker 1:

You know, I know of a medical doctor who was not happy in his personal life, in his marriage, for a long time, and he met someone that he was happy with and as much as he wanted to change his life, to make the changes, to be happier, to leave his marriage and to build a relationship that felt better to him. As much as he wanted to do that, he didn't allow himself to do it, even though he tried, because he was being so hard on himself about making marriage vow that he no longer wanted to keep about what other people would think he had a big life. A lot of people adored him, he was a people pleaser and so many other things about that. What his kids said, like we'll never talk to you again if you do this. So so many.

Speaker 1:

He was calculating so many different difficulties and how he could make this be where he could have a life that was happy and please everybody else at the same time. This had gone on for a little while good while and it was really tormenting him. Somebody referred him to me and he just couldn't bring himself to connect with me. He listened to the podcast, loved it, but still just couldn't make that stretch to a life coach. He became very depressed and then suicidal and I thought, come on, I'm right here, I'm right here, reach out. But instead he went the clinical route. He went to get traditional therapy because that's what just seemed logical, and within a short period after that he took his own life and I thought you know that's and it's okay. It's okay we can do that. We have that free will option to do that and he's actually why I did the marriage and divorce episode.

Speaker 1:

I don't think he ever got to listen to that one, but I thought that is just really a good example of how hard on ourselves we can be, to be so sure that you're not worthy enough of a solution that you want to be happy but you can't make everybody happy. So there must be something very wrong with you and you just got to stop playing this game and, like I said, it's okay, but it doesn't have to be like that. We can be easier on ourselves and we can be easy about what we're going through. There are always solutions. Another example I read of a man who, at 72, fell and was not able to get up. He laid there for two full days before calling 911. No food, no water, no comfort. And when they asked why, he said because I was naked. And I thought can we just love ourselves enough that we don't care what other people think? That we can care about our comfort and our well-being so much that we don't care what other people think about how we look or the condition that we're in.

Speaker 1:

I listened to a woman talking about her near-death experience, who said she was bulimic and then addicted to diet pills for about 12 years until finally the medication kind of killed her. She had that near-death experience and she discovered that she had been so hard on herself for so long because of other people's projections and then her own projections, her own thoughts about herself. Because of what she thought other people thought. Life became very, very difficult for her. But a good relationship with herself would have made what other people think irrelevant. It would have made it something that she wasn't so quick to give her attention to and then to give her well-being over to. But after her near death she was inspired to love herself and Make a happy life for herself.

Speaker 1:

You know this being hard on herself stuff. I mean, I've done it. Of course I do it. We all do it at times, or at least a little. I mean, we're in this world of contrast, it's gonna happen, right, but many people do it a lot and constantly, and therein lies the problem. So what do you do?

Speaker 1:

Some recommend release writing where for three to five minutes you write about all your pent-up Frustrations and then let them go. I don't think that's a good idea, because what we give our attention to becomes more present in our lives. So if you're gonna do something like that, do it for 17 seconds or less, because after that it starts to become something in your life. So, instead of giving your attention to all your frustrations and your pent-up stuff Punching a pillow or whatever that you know it may have some value to it, but it doesn't really have the value that we're looking for here Instead of giving your attention to that stuff, give your attention to anything that feels better. Let's say you're frustrated because you want to write a book and it's just not happening and so you're being hard on yourself about it. That's not gonna help you write the book Right. Instead, think thoughts like I may at some point write that book. I know I have something I want to say. I know I have a story I want to tell. Maybe if I just get easy about this, the words will flow.

Speaker 1:

Another technique I've heard is putting a name to your negative voice, to put distance between that human, negative part of you and who you truly are. So you could name that negative, you negative neck or Jerko or something like that. But I think you know we're trying too hard at that point again. We're labeling and owning that negative part of us and Letting it be the problem. So, yeah, it does distance you a little bit from it, but you're still looking at negatives and you're still owning that Ability to be that negative on yourself. So how about if you just talk nice to yourself? Your most important relationship is with yourself.

Speaker 1:

So, number one, let yourself off the hook. It, cuz you're the only one that can do that. Source isn't judging you or being hard on you at all. So be curious and say things to yourself. Like you know, this is a big world with a lot going on. Have I gotten so involved with it that I'm forgetting who I am? Is this a time when I can begin to reconnect with myself? I'm glad I'm having these thoughts. It's okay to learn through contrast and it's okay that I've been hard on myself. I will just be doing that a lot less from now on, and less and less and less on purpose, because I can. I don't have to be perfect at it, but I want to get really, really good at it, because what's the payoff here. It feels good and Then it becomes good stuff physically, mentally, externally in your life. It becomes that.

Speaker 1:

So another one is be kind to yourself, just be nice. Be kind to you, because, honestly, you're not even going to evoke much kindness from others if you're not kind to you first. So learn to love all of you. Just think about that. We were meant to be different. We know that. So honor this different human body, personality, intellectual level and whatever, wherever you're at right now, because that's always changing and progressing and you get to decide the amount of ease in that you know. And so be kind to you before or at least as you end a marriage or come out of the closet or contemplate ending your physical life, before you blame others, before you start a new day, before you go to sleep, before you go to work. Do it before and as you're going about your life, because, like I've always said in these podcasts, you're always thinking anyway. So find nice things to say about yourself, and then you'll find people saying nice things about you actually too, because it sort of ripples out there. And now, instead of people criticizing you or looking at you sideways, you're going to get more acceptance back, not because they changed, but because you changed.

Speaker 1:

I mean, don't you know really, that you're an amazing person, that you're a loving soul? You know that right? We all can feel that if we want to. You've had that little voice inside you all along that is just adoring you and wondering why some people don't adore you like that too, but we don't need it. From other people it's nice, but we don't need it. So I promise you you are much more wonderful-ness than you may have been realizing. I think that's true with all of us.

Speaker 1:

There's a person on Instagram, bruce W Brackett. It's bwbpositivity, and I love watching him because he has this fan that he snaps, opens and shuts it and he'll say things like negative to be gone. Here's a cup of love, drink up and enjoy, it's all for you. And then he'll say something like take my hands. And he gets right up in that camera Take my hands, breathe. And then he'll breathe in and out, and then he'll talk for a while on just living a better life. He was addicted to drugs and got to a pretty bad place and made a decision to change that around and he looks wonderful now. He's very entertainingly showy and just adorable and he's a light that shines to anybody that wants to listen and watch and be encouraged to just keep moving forward, to just keep being okay, to get through one more moment and to enjoy one more moment.

Speaker 1:

And the woman I mentioned earlier who had the near-death experience. She said, when they brought her back to life, she asked the doctor did you say whatever? She's just an addict. While I was dead. And he was shocked, of course, and had a hard time admitting it because he said you were dead. And she said but did you say it? Did you say whatever? She's just an addict. And he admitted that he did say that For her. She just wanted to know, did she really hear that or did she dream it? And she really did hear it, he did say it. And she had been an addict and, of course, turned her life in a new direction after that. But that really stood out to her that he would say and really mean whatever, she's just an addict. In other words, we don't have to work that hard to bring her back, it's not a big loss.

Speaker 1:

I thought, oh man, you can't love yourself when you're thinking like that about other people. He couldn't have had a great relationship with himself and therefore with his source if he was thinking thoughts like that, and of course, that's okay. We can do this life any way we want to, but it's things like that that you want to pay attention to, because if you're thinking like that, you got to bring it home. You have to wonder where that's coming from in you. What don't you like about yourself? Because we know it doesn't matter who you are on this planet or what you are on this planet. You could be a tree or a person, an insect or a rock. It all counts, we all count. We all are source, we all are part of source. We're all pure love and we all matter. So your relationship with you is extremely important. It's your link to source, it's being who you truly are.

Speaker 1:

There was an episode of the Big Bang Theory that I saw where Professor Proton had been hired by the guys the crew to perform a private party for them and he was being pretty down on himself because he was being tired of being just Professor Proton, which wasn't even a thing anymore. He was doing kids parties now and made him feel even worse. He said you know, I have a degree, I'm really a scientist and I'm elderly now and I'm doing kids parties, like how did it come to that? And he felt like his life was just Not that important and that he hadn't been that important because, you know, he did a kid show and now he's doing kids parties and Sheldon and Leonard explained to him that he was a huge inspiration for them and many others. They said you taught and introduced so many of us To science and helped us develop a love for science over the years.

Speaker 1:

But he was so close to it that he couldn't see the value and the ripple effect of it. He was being hard on himself because he was judging his life and himself Through probably what he thought other people's expectations would have been. So he was so close to his misinterpretations and just his own life in general that he just couldn't see All that value that had been there all those years and, like I said, that just rippled out and was still rippling out. So that's how we get hard on ourselves, right? So wherever you are, whatever you're up to, you're more amazing than you know. We're all more amazing than we know. Even if we know we're amazing, we're still more amazing than that and we are loved unconditionally, so we can love ourselves unconditionally.

Speaker 1:

So just stop for a minute, even right now, but as you go about your day, even just stop, take a nice deep breath and feel who you really are. Sit in love. That's a wonderful substitute for meditation. If you're not a meditator, if it's just not ringing your bells, sit in love. What does that feel like? It's who you are, so you will be able to sit in love and decide that, no matter what anyone else thinks or says or does you, you are gonna be easy on you and you're gonna love you. All your quirks, all the Shortages you believe you have, you'll just adore them, just like source does.

Speaker 1:

So, like everything else that I teach, this is easier than it seems if we just find that ease. Look for the honey inside of ourselves. What are the good parts about you? Just doing that? You're building a better relationship with yourself. You're being easy on yourself. You're loving yourself. Your life will show that. Your life will improve. You will feel good. I Love you and I don't even know most of you. They're gonna listen to this. I love you because I love everything, and that means everything, because everything has its place and its purpose, even if I don't like it. So I can be easy on life. I can be easy on myself, that's being One with source as best we can in this physical experience. So if any of this makes sense to you but you need a little help in getting there, I gotcha. You can find me at mysticaltruthscom.