Mystical Truths Podcast
Welcome to Mystical Truths Podcast.
A show about how the core truths of life can unlock the relief and ease we all want. No fluff. Just honest, relaxed talks about "the stuff of life", intuition, happiness, calming your mind, life now, life after life, LOA, your inner being, and so much more.
Hosted by Rebecca Troup, an accomplished teacher and intuitive life coach.
In each episode, Rebecca shares life-changing insights, stories, and guidance about why we are here and how to navigate this big world. She invites questions from guests and all who are curious.
In this accelerated time of change and conflicting information, the truths really can set you free! Let's unlock your world.
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Mystical Truths Podcast
How to Stay Positive in a Sea of Negative People
Ever find yourself swimming against a current of negativity, desperately searching for a life raft of positivity? Mary joins us to discover how going against that current is not the solution. Together, we chart a course through practical strategies that shield your joy from the stormy moods of those around you. Discover the art of selective engagement with difficult people and the transformative power of setting boundaries without judgment.
We shed light on the fine line between sharing in someone's pain and drowning in it, providing a lifeline of positive perspective. Learn how to gracefully bow out of negativity, choosing instead to lead with understanding.
As the journey comes to an end, we drop anchor on the importance of intentional thinking to steer your days in the right direction. By consciously selecting your thoughts, you're at the helm of your own ship, with the power to choose how your experiences will flow. So, hoist the sails of optimism and let these insights be the wind at your back, guiding you toward sunny horizons. Feeling good is your nature.
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Welcome to the Mystical Truths Podcast. This is Rebecca, and I'm really glad you're here. Let's unlock your world. Mary is joining us today because she wants guidance on something that hardly anybody I know experiences negative people. So and I can hear her already laughing because she knows she's not the only one. So, welcome Mary, thanks for coming on, thank you for having me. So yeah, you reached out because you have some negative people in your life and that's why I thought it would be great to bring you on here, because we all do, and some of the biggest challenges for anybody that wants to be positive and just wants to be happy most of the time is so what do I do about all of these negative people, especially if they're very close family, friends, work. You know what do we do and are we attracting them? Because I think you would even mention like is this? How does law of attraction play into this?
Speaker 2:Right, I try so hard to look at the positives every day with everything, but you just end up getting caught up in other people's stuff, even if you're practicing meditation in the morning, which I do regularly and I try to redirect myself. It's just sometimes it's harder than others to just take a step back and see it for what it is. And sometimes, to be honest, if I'm talking with a coworker, a friend or my boss, even I will get caught up in it and I'll start talking myself and then I realize, oh, this is where I'm at.
Speaker 1:As in like you join in the negativity. Yeah, yes, it's so common. Therefore, it's a habit with a lot of people and when you're trying to unhabit it from your life, that happens. You know where you just whoops. I just found myself right back up. I'm joining in with them, and sometimes it's just we're joking about it even, and that's not helping.
Speaker 1:Like you said, you know you can meditate, you can think your happy thoughts, you can be positive and look at life with a more correct perspective, which does make life easier to deal with. But we do still live on this planet with people who aren't really there and maybe have no desire to be in that better feeling place, and that's why, for me, you know, I still today. I have things that are my go-tos to keep me in the space that I want to be in. I have certain people that I'll listen to. I have certain books, like affirmations, or I'll just write things down for myself, or I will just sit with myself and talk to myself and say things like how do you want this to go, you know?
Speaker 1:Or if I'm in a conversation with somebody and it's going negative, I'll either tune out I'm listening, but I'm not really listening because I don't want to take the energy of that in, so I can't feel and listen. But my ears are open and even with the work I do, you know, and that's why people will keep touching base with me, because they go back out. They're great, and then they go back out into the world and before you know it, you're like I need to, I need a reset, and we all do need some type of a reset and that's why the coaching with other people I have to be in a good place, or their sorrows and their troubles or whatever are just gonna bring me down or put me in a negative place. So I've learned to not do that, Like I can fully listen to somebody's troubles and understand exactly what they mean and what they want to do with it without becoming part of that, without it affecting my energy and we can all do that. It just does take practice.
Speaker 2:I do have a question about that. Okay, so say someone, someone who is very close to you like a child or a brother or a sister. How do you separate yourself from that, especially a child?
Speaker 1:Well, the main way I do it is to recognize that everybody is an intelligent soul that chose this life and there is a process and a journey for them, and it's not up to me to decide what that is or how they should play it out. So I honor and respect the way they're playing it out, Even if I don't agree with it from my perspective. I wouldn't do that. People just they have a right to be negative if they want to. I know people who are addicted to negativity and even though they say they're positive and they may post positive things on Facebook, that's not what the words are that come out of their mouths most often and that's not what they're really living.
Speaker 1:You know, and even when we joke about negative things, we're still in that energy of the negative things, and so we can think well for people. I know people close to me who are negative, and it's okay. I just don't join in it, I just don't go there. And I think that's where the rub comes in, because especially, like you said, with a child, we feel like we should guide our children and help them make the best of life and be positive. Help them be positive, to think positively. We can only be an example. I mean, we are the light that shines, no matter how we're shining. We are the light that shines, no matter how we're shining. We are the light that shines. So if we are being more positive, if we're shifting our perception about things and we're looking at the well, what if? Like, hey, what if? Versus what if? Right, if we're doing that higher vibration one, they're going to pick up on that, especially children, because they learn by watching us.
Speaker 2:I have a funny. Well, you can call it funny if you want, but I was once told that I'm too positive and that I'll end up being disappointed in the end.
Speaker 1:Oh Mary, how could you be too positive? Shame on you, stop. You know where do people get this from? Because, yeah, here's what they're saying. So don't get too happy about life, don't trust life too much, because there's always going to be another shoe that drops. There's always going to be something that disappoints you. That's only true if you don't know how to interpret life. That's only true if you think there are bad things that don't have any honey in it, that don't have anything valuable in it for me, and that stuff is just going to come at me. It's just going to happen.
Speaker 1:People say life just happens to you. What are you going to do? And then that becomes the reality and that's okay, but it doesn't have to be yours. So when somebody says you're too positive, say thank you. If they say you're too positive, you can say well, I don't think there is such a thing. And if they say because life is going to disappoint you, if you stick with what I'm trying to get out there to everybody, you'll, you'll be able to to say at least to yourself, because sometimes it's just wasted air to say it to them. But if they say you know you'll, life is just going to disappoint you. You'll be able to think or say not really, because I know how to interpret what's happening now.
Speaker 2:And that's why I'm here. I want to learn how to, I guess, prep myself better, Because you can't just I mean, I don't feel like you can just walk away from certain people. You still have to deal with them on some level, and I just want to know how to have a conversation with them without trying to put my own beliefs onto them or letting them suck me in. If you know what I mean, Sure.
Speaker 1:And you do that by being neutral, you know. Go ahead and let them spew their negativity or their woe is me, or nothing works out, or life happens to me. If it's uncomfortable for you, it really would be better to just either try to find a way to change the subject or find a way to get out of the conversation, at least for now, until you get better at being in the same space as them, as they're doing that. So there really is better. But if you feel like, oh no, I can't, I really have to be here for this conversation. I feel I don't know how to get out of it, then get in a neutral space and think okay, you have the right to say whatever you're saying and to think whatever you think. But I'm going to hear it from a non-judgmental place, because when, when we're in that difficult conversation and we don't want to put our two cents in, but we really do want to put our two cents in, at the same time we're judging.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:We are judging, we're saying you shouldn't be like that, you shouldn't be talking like that, you shouldn't be thinking like that. Or we're thinking hey, let me enlighten you. Right, I have the. I have better answers here, I have better ideas. Let me just tell you and they may not be in a space where they're ready to hear that, right, and we all know what that's like when we're in a very negative or stubborn place and somebody tries to enlighten us and we're just not having any of it.
Speaker 1:Maybe there's another moment where they might. So you can think to yourself I hear what they're saying and I hear how negative it is. I'm not taking it on, but maybe at some point, when they're in a easier space, we can have a conversation that can help them understand how much that hurts them to talk like that or to think like that, Because it is only hurting ourselves. We're only hurting ourselves when we're being negative. We can't really hurt other people. They allow that, just like you. You know when you're around them and you're feeling some sort of way about it. That's an inside job, right, You're letting that stuff bother you, but you can get to a place where you don't.
Speaker 2:And as we were, as you said earlier on, did I attract that to myself? Yeah, so there are certain people in my life that I can go a couple of months without seeing and I and it's kind of it's deliberate on my part because I know how they, how I let them make me feel or the conversations we end up having so I just try not to engage too much- See them from that non-judgmental place.
Speaker 1:See them from okay, this is just who you are, this is how you roll, and it's just not me.
Speaker 1:I'm not comparing myself and saying I'm better, I'm just different and we're just two different people, because I have people that I intentionally don't spend much time with because of that reason, but I can very comfortably spend time with them.
Speaker 1:It's an understanding that I don't have to subject myself to that all the time, but when I feel that it fits maybe there's a family situation or a work situation, and you know you just either have to be there or you want to be there then just be there with no judgment. And if somebody wants to engage you in a conversation and pull you, try to pull you into that conversation of negativity, you have to be willing not to go. Yeah, because if you think I can't help you from negativity, if we're both being negative, we're both an energy that isn't going to help anybody. So you can be there if you want to, but I'm not going to join you there. So give me an example, if you can, of something that is like a real situation or a real conversation that would bother you real situation or a real conversation that would bother you.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean especially talking about my child. I had an example from the other day, a friend of mine. I felt bad for her. I ended up talking about some of my kids' problems. My child had a serious health condition which they're doing fine now, condition which they're doing fine now. But you know, I had brought that up and just started talking about an argument. We had had just feeling like I needed to commiserate with her to help her feel better, to say, okay, you're not alone. And I caught myself doing that. This isn't helping and I caught myself doing it. I thought this isn't helping, I thought that and I kind of backed off, but not before.
Speaker 1:I said more than I wanted to say, and that's okay, because at least you noticed it. And that's growth. Because when you, even if it's after the fact, and you catch yourself and you think, okay, I went way too far, now we're both sitting in negativity and it just doesn't feel good. At least give yourself credit for that. You saw it, you got it, it's okay. Next time you're going to catch it quicker.
Speaker 1:If you beat yourself up about it, more damage done, more negativity, so you've got to let yourself off the hook. Here comes that word non-judgment again. Right, don't judge yourself or be hard on yourself. Be proud of yourself that you, you caught it, you understood it, you know you, you want different. And then, yeah, remind yourself that that conversation really didn't help either one of us. We've been taught that if we're a really good friend, then we will share our pain too, because then you know like, yeah, I get it, I can relate to you, I have pain too. I know what it's like. Let's just talk about all of our pain and then we can be common to each other and maybe we can help each other from our pain. Well, we really can't. There may be a little bit of relief in there and knowing that somebody else goes through pain too and you can say to somebody yeah, I've been through to like, prove it to them, like here. Let me give you a list of things that I've suffered through.
Speaker 1:You can say I get it Like I've been there, but I know that being there keeps me there, so I don't want to go there. But if you want, I can kind of help lead you out of there. Yeah, and this is what Source tells us. You know, if we've noticed, and you can't help but notice, that when you have these troubles there is not a soul, an angel, whatever, that shows up and says here, let me cry with you, let me feel bad with you. And more like that we'll say come here, come here and let me cry with you, let me feel bad with you. And we're like that.
Speaker 1:We'll say come here, come here and help me, I'm in misery, Come here and help me out of my. Feel this with me, share this with me. And they will not do it because they know they're no good to us there, just like we're no good to each other when we're there. And I know sometimes, like I said, it seems like we are, but we're really not. We're more helpful if we can say I get it, I understand, but come this way, think about it this way, come this way. What could be possible? Where might there be some advantage in here or some benefit, or a little drop of honey in this somewhere. Let's look for that, because if you and I can find that, then we can find more and we can find more. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, definitely we have to be willing to look for the benefit, because everything has benefit in it. The benefit Because everything has benefit in it. So when somebody is we've all seen it where somebody has health conditions and they're doing things that are making the health conditions worse, and then they do something else that makes it worse, and we think, well, I can clearly see that if you would stop beating your head against that wall, you wouldn't be in pain. Right, they can't see it because they're too busy beating their head against that wall and they're so used to it. They want more.
Speaker 1:There's nothing wrong with that? There's nothing about Source that is looking at anyone like that and going stop, what is wrong with you, don't you see the better way? There's no judgment there. We're free. We can do that. There's always guidance that's whispering you can stop now. How about this, how about this? When people are like that a lot, they just get a whiff of that once in a while and then a lot of times they say it was just my imagination.
Speaker 1:That nice thought I had I had. Well, wouldn't that be nice if that could be? Oh, I don't think so. And then they talk themselves right back out of it again, which is okay. But when we are in our human experience and we see that part of us wants to go and rescue them right and pull, pull them out of that and say, here, come over, here, in this energy, this just feels better. There's just, this is who we are at our core. And you've just gotten so far away from your core that you're in agony. Let me take that away from you, let me rescue you from that. And again, source does not do that for us. We have to learn to trust, just like all of those that are non-physical, just like Source, the intelligence itself. We have to trust this process and this life experience is working out for every single one of us, no matter how difficult we want to make it. We're still being taught, we're still being guided, we'll still get through it. Taught, we're still being guided, we'll still get through it.
Speaker 1:I was listening to a man earlier today who said that he had a very, very hard childhood and he just turned into be a real jerk and he had a car accident. He wrecked his car. He was on drugs and alcohol and all kinds of stuff Wrecked. His car had a near-death experience, which in most cases straightens people up, and he remembered the death experience. He even had a little bit of intuitive stuff that he retained from that. But he came back into his life and he went right back into jerk mode. I mean resentment, because he still had all of this stuff to work through and life led him here. Life led him here and even though he was still riding life hard, he would get these little feelings of oh, oh, that's not helping me, that's not helping me. And it took him a good while but he was able to just little by little by little, turn his life around and now he teaches people because of everything that he learned about all of that that he went through. So how was any of it bad? How was any of it wrong? You know, he was given the the option do you want to go back or do you want to stay? And he felt, felt, he knew there was something in him like I'm not, I have, I'm going back, like I'm not done, there's more that I've agreed to. And so he came back into his physical experience and boom, you know, just like, came in hot and hard and heavy and. But you know, life helped him. All that guidance, little by little, unraveled, unraveled, unraveled, unraveled, and now he understands so much about that whole process that he's helping other people. So that's just a good example of how we can't judge somebody from where they're at.
Speaker 1:His own family wished he would just go away or die. That's how rotten he was. But he was. You know, he just went through so much. It was no wonder he was just a mess and you know his desires were to drink and have sex and do drugs and everything he could possibly do like that. That was. That's what he really woke up thinking this is what I want to do until the near death experience. And then eventually, even when he came back and he said I the near death experience. And then eventually, even when he came back and he said I was still smoking.
Speaker 2:I was still drinking. Yeah, I was still riding life hard for a good while, but a little less, a little less, a little less, a little less. What finally changed him? Was there something else that had happened? Or he just came to a realization that he was going down the wrong path, or whatever?
Speaker 1:I don't think he if he's wise anyway, I don't think he sees any of it as the wrong path, but he understands the path. You see what I mean. Sorry, poor choice of words, no, but I'm glad you said that, because that's exactly what most people would say. So that's a really good choice of words for this example, because we tend to do that right. We tend to think I'm doing the wrong thing, I'm going down the wrong path, I shouldn't be doing this, I better clean it.
Speaker 1:And what he did was he came back in and kept working out the kinks, and working out the kinks, not even knowingly. For the most part, partially he did, but for the most part he just was still confused and still angry about the stuff that had happened to him and angry about his parents and what they had done to him and all that. And so it wasn't one thing that turned him around, it was a series of things. It was a series of things that are probably so unknown to him, but there they occurred, they happened, and that's why I always say life is such a good teacher, life is helping all of us, just the energy of life itself. And then you have the intelligence, that's, you know behind and a part of all of that and is creating all of that. There's so much good in everything. We just have for a long time, for the most part, not had the eyes to see it, but we're getting better at it and better at it and better at it. We're now able to, if we want to see that there's honey in everything that occurs. But when we refuse to see it, we refuse to look at it, it gets hard and long and drawn out, and that's okay because we're still being taught the whole way. But we're understanding more and more. Now we don't have to make it that rough. You know we don't have to choose.
Speaker 1:You know, like you said, you know you have the option to be around people who are very negative or not. And when you take the option to be around them people who are very negative or not and when you take the option to be around them what I would suggest is, before you go around them, pave that road right, think about it in real time before you go. I'm going to get the better version of them this time. If there's a negative conversation, I'll be in another room.
Speaker 1:I know that they have a good heart and I know that they're just so wrapped up in this life that they've just all they can see is the unwanted, and that's okay. I'm not judging them for that. I'm just going to just be me. I'm going to be me and I'm going to bring this good feeling, energy with me, and if they want to look at that or be part of that, that's fine. If they don't, that's okay too, because I can be in their world but not be affected by their world. Now that I know that and then go, because you're going to get a different experience and the more you do that, the better it gets. The better it gets, the better it gets.
Speaker 2:And I will say that since I've been practicing, meditating and listening to Abraham Hicks and following all of that, things have definitely gotten better over the years, because I used to go into a tailspin having, you know, talked to somebody who has put has I let put me into a bad place. So I've definitely made improvements over the years with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and even like you said, you let yourself go into that place and that's, that's OK. So I've definitely made improvements over the years with that. Yeah, and even like you said, you let yourself go into that place and that's okay. You've got to say that's part of the process that I am going through in this life. It's part of what has helped me to grow and expand and want to be more positive and want to be more clear, and that's why we come here.
Speaker 1:This is a I mean, from the human perspective, this is a crazy place. It really is. From a spiritual perspective, it's ideal. It is so ideal because there's so much variety, there's so much contrasting stuff that we can choose whatever we want from all this and we can think up more and think up more and create more, and that's a wonderful thing. And then the more we see that, the more we listen to other people that have already sort of come to those conclusions, the more we start to question, the more we start to open up to it.
Speaker 1:And then you do, you start catching yourself thinking negative thoughts or expecting negative things and just saying those things that come out like habit. You know where we can just say in passing to people like people say things like well, you know, we're probably going to have, we're probably going to have a bad winter because we had an easier one last winter. Or, like I noticed lately, right now where we live, we had spring coming and then it got colder and some snow came and now everybody's worried about the flowers. And I thought, you know, if this is how it works, people will say we didn't have a very hard winter, we didn't have enough winter, there's no way winter's over yet. We're going to get it in March. We're going to get something in March, and so we're going to have something in March. Then If people would just go okay, we had a nice winter, we had a pretty decent winter, it wasn't so bad, that was really great. Look at spring coming. Spring's here, isn't that nice? Or we're going to have a regular spring for a change, right?
Speaker 1:If people would just say that more often than it would play itself out, do we affect the weather.
Speaker 2:Sure, we do, we affect everything. Yeah, it's funny. My husband will say, oh, I wish it would just get warm and stay warm. And I just say, well, it's March, it's you know, you're going to have a variety.
Speaker 1:Maybe, maybe not right.
Speaker 1:Maybe yeah, right, all we really need to be doing here about any topic is, just like your husband did Think about it the way you want it to be. How do I want it to be? Wouldn't it be nice if March is so nice? I mean, look how nice March is, maybe it'll stay like this instead of thinking, well, maybe not. Though, you know, and same thing with anything like the government.
Speaker 1:We know we're in an election here in the United States and everybody people have such different opinions and they're so upset with the government in so many different ways, so more often people complain about it. Right, what if we have somebody that really can make a, you know, pull some really cool stuff together with our government? What if we're headed in a better direction than we think we are? What if the turmoil and the weirdness that we've been through maybe that was just to get us all to pay attention so that we can work some stuff out and see things in a different way. But people weren't really talking like that for the most part, and so we're all affecting all of it. The most part, and so we're all affecting all of it. But the good news is source tells us that, as long as there's some of us that are keeping our corks above the water. We're helping the whole way more than everybody that's holding their cork under the water, and that's really good to know that.
Speaker 1:That balance is exactly that. It's not a balance of. I have 10 people thinking positive, 10 people thinking negative. So there's a balance, right? It's not that it's. I have 10 people thinking positively, I have a million thinking negatively and those 10 that are thinking positively are outweighing the million who are not. That's how strong the connection to source is. That's how strong positive thinking is.
Speaker 1:And it's not even just positive thinking, it's real thinking. It's true thinking. You know, in a way that you know if somebody says well, it's true that my child has some stuff, some negative stuff, and anybody could look at that and say that is true, we see the evidence of it. It's true that my child is an intelligent soul, here for his or her or its own purpose, and life is guiding my child as well as it's guiding everybody else on this planet. And I'm going to honor and just pay attention and I'll be the light that shines as often as I can, but I can't get in there and do it for my kid. I can just be the support and the light that shines. So when somebody else is falling apart, you don't fall apart.
Speaker 2:And that's exactly what I'm trying to do and what I'm trying to put as an example to my child and to anyone around me, and that's perfect.
Speaker 1:Because if you know, let's say, your child comes to you and says my, let's see, my job is awful and it's just going terribly and I think I'm failing at everything that I thought I was good at, would it help that child if you say tell me more about it, let me see if I can find some solutions for you, because maybe you are messing it up, maybe it is really bad, maybe you're even in the wrong profession. Would it help your child to do that? Or would it help your child to say well, maybe we can find a different way to look at this. Maybe you're just so close to it that you're thinking it's going wrong when it's not? Or maybe, if we just back up and look at this from a broader perspective, maybe this is giving you some data that will be really useful. Maybe there's something here for you to look at this from a broader perspective. Maybe this is giving you some data that will be really useful. Maybe there's something here for you to look at. Could life be showing you a new direction? Could life be pointing out some things that you're just not seeing? Which one of those is more helpful? Right, the second one is definitely going to be more helpful If somebody comes to you and says, mary, I have cancer, I don't know what to do it's they say it's bad.
Speaker 1:Would it be more helpful to your friend if you say, oh, that's terrible, oh, my, what are you going to do? All right, well, we'll, we'll find some help. Well, I mean, you know, this is this is bad. Or would it help your friend if you said this is bad? Or would it help your friend if you said, okay, that's a tough one to hear, I'm sure, but there are always solutions to everything, right? What if this is just an interesting adventure for you to go on? Because I've talked to plenty of people that have been through plenty of experiences like that, who have said I learned so much about myself and about life just because I went through that. Those are the ones that are willing to look for the honey. Those are the ones that you will not find telling people oh, do you have a minute Because I really need to tell you about my cancer ordeal.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was just awful.
Speaker 1:They'll be the ones that are saying, well, no, I had cancer, and you know what I learned, it was just awful. They'll be the ones that are saying, well, no, I had cancer, and you know what I learned? It was. It was just a really interesting experience. Like I know stuff now, like I appreciate life in a way that I didn't before. That was. It's really interesting. I wouldn't want to do it again, necessarily, right, but wow, you know. So, perspective you know how we perceive things is is really the exact way we're going to get more of those things, you know, and I don't think it's pipe dreaming to think like that.
Speaker 2:I know it's not because I've seen the proof of it To think like that. I know it's not because I've seen the proof of it. I agree with you.
Speaker 1:Here's what pipe dreaming is. Pipe dreaming is when you say okay, you know I don't. I don't have cancer, it's going to be okay. I don't it will, I'm going to be fine. Yeah, I have cancer, but I'm going to be all right. You know it's going to go away and I'll get the treatment or whatever I do, but I'm going to be fine. Meanwhile, in the back of your mind, you're going I'm screwed Like. This is not good. What you're saying with your words doesn't mean anything compared to what you're really believing, what you're really thinking. So if somebody says I'm going to be really successful at what I do, I'm going to be the best at what I do, I'm going to be really good at it, and they don't believe it, that's a pipe dream.
Speaker 1:But if somebody says, no, you know, I'm really good, I'm going to be good at what I do. I'm getting better every day at what I do, like I'm, this is my thing, this is what I'm good at. That's not a pipe dream. Feeling it, they're knowing it, they're living it and they're going to see the proof of that Sort of like the starving actor thing. If somebody says, like if your child came to you and said you know, mom, I've changed my mind. I want to go to Hollywood and I want to be an actor, most parents would say, oh God, no, please go get a job, because you know you're going to be waiting tables. It just doesn't work out. I mean, it's really hard. That's not helping, right? Right?
Speaker 1:What I would want to know is do you really believe that? Do you feel that Like? Is that where your heart is? And if that child says, yeah, like this is really what I want to do, then I would say, follow it. I don't know if you're going to be an actor or not, but follow it Right, because if it's lighting up for you, if it's in your heart, then it's it's good. So follow it, because who knows where it's going to lead you right now. It could lead you to stardom, it could lead you to being the best chiropractor ever, or whatever. I you know what I mean. Like we, it's not really helpful to make up our minds about the end result. It's better if we just follow. Here's what I know right now. Here's what I know right now. This feels really good to me, right, and that's what I call picking up breadcrumbs you just pick up the next one, then pick up the next one.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And that trail, that trail of breadcrumbs, is guidance. That's all that is. It's guidance that says over here, how about this, how about this? This would be nice, how about this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's never fear-driven, it's just a fear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, even though there might be a little apprehension just out of excitement, like I'm really doing this thing. Or even if somebody has a disease and they think, okay, you know what, I'm going to get through this, I'm going to learn how the body heals, I'm going to just trust my body. This feels so good to me that disease can't hold any power over them, unless it's their time to leave this existence, right then, that's a train. You're not going to stop, but you can make it an easier ride, you can make it a better ride. And worry, worry does not make it a better ride.
Speaker 1:no, definitely not so when you think about the negative people, especially the ones that are close to you, does it make sense that it's okay that they're negative and it's okay if you don't want to go there?
Speaker 2:Definitely, definitely. I guess I'm just I'm I'm trying to get tools for in the moment when I'm, if I'm caught off guard.
Speaker 1:The nice thing about that is, in the moment when you're caught off guard, nobody can tell what's going on inside your mind.
Speaker 1:Right, you can talk to yourself. Right then, in that moment, you can excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, you can reach into your purse and say you're looking for something, or you can just let them keep talking while you're thinking about something else, something else, and it only takes a split second to think to yourself hold on, I'm not going there, I'm not going to take the words in. I can hear and listen, but I'm not going to take the words in. I can hear and listen, but I'm not going to become that problem or that issue. I'm not going to become it because it doesn't help me and it doesn't help them. So they can just keep on talking there. I'm fine, I'm absolutely fine. And usually what happens is they either like they let that conversation trail away because you're not engaging like they want you to, or they'll change the subject, or they'll accuse you of not caring and they walk away, right, either way, it's a win, win.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like I said when I had emailed you earlier, there are some people that are much easier to do. That with than others. This has all been very helpful to me. So I do think, going forward, this conversation is definitely going to come back and I will be able to stop myself and reset.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and one helpful thing is to just ask yourself is this helping me? Is this helping them?
Speaker 2:Is this doing any good? Is this doing?
Speaker 1:any good at all.
Speaker 2:Right. A child or your spouse or you know close family member, you want to. You want to help them. But digging, getting down into the mud with them isn't going to help them.
Speaker 1:No, and you know, and even with my kids, I watch them go through things and I offer them advice like well, if you just maybe think about it this way, or how do you know that this isn't going to work out Right? They sometimes don't want to hear that.
Speaker 1:They're not ready, and so I just let them figure it out themselves. And then I'll say to them see, see, how that worked out. That did work out, didn't it? I don't have to do it while it's happening, and I'm not rubbing it in their face afterwards, I'm just saying like, look, that worked out, didn't it? That's really cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sometimes you can go back later when they're a little more lighthearted, um, and have the conversation with them and they're more, a little more receptive.
Speaker 1:Or I might say something like you know, that reminds me of that time, that you know you went through this and then that happened and then that worked out. Right, that's how. That's what I mean by being the light that shines. You know, we don't have to tell them what to do, that's not going to help. We don't have to get in the mud with them, but we can just hold that light and say, well, do you remember that? Or wait till, wait till it's worked itself out, and honor the fact that they are going through this life and life is guiding them, life is teaching them. We don't always have to be the teachers.
Speaker 1:As parents, I've watched my children go through experiences that I just wanted to yank them out of or give them all the solutions to here. Been there, done that. Let me just save you from it. You know, we we have as parents, we have that thought, but we've got to like swallow that thought real quick. Release it whatever you want to do, and get to the truth of if I get on a bike and ride it, they're never going to learn how to ride it. I can show them all day long how to handle this bicycle, but they're never going to get it unless they get on it and don't do well, and then maybe don't do well, and then maybe don't do well, and then they do well, and then they do better, better, better. You know, and we want to, we want to go, but you could fall, you could get hurt, something could happen.
Speaker 1:Let me just I love that analogy because you know, no matter what it is, you know, whatever our kids are going through, we can think back to things that we went through and that we had to work out for ourselves and that life taught us about. And then you, you get to the thought of you know, I'm really glad that nobody like saved me from that In the moment. I wanted people to save me from that, right, because the insight I have now and the knowledge and just that maturity of understanding that you get is so valuable. That's why all of creation is not coming into your life and saying here, mary, let me just rescue you from that, because the value in it would disappear. The value going to source or somebody else isn't the value for you now. So, as much as you know, we can say, man, you know school's just like a prison and there's bullies there and it's, they can form children and it's this and that. We can say that and and think you know, I would just, I'll go to school for them because you know, I've been there, I've done that, I'm older, I can figure this out. I'll save them from all of that stuff when you know what you know because you've been there. You have been there. Right, you want. You made your way through that, you know, and your guidance can be.
Speaker 1:Well, here's how it worked out for me, or here's what I learned when I was going through that as a child or as a teenager. That may or may not help you or work for you, but just food for thought. Right, everybody's negativity is theirs and they're allowed to have it and it's okay. We don't have to fix that or change that for them. But we can decide how we want to be, and if our thoughts are helping us or hurting us, and just because you hold that space with yourself, you're going to start to see that from them. You'll get them on their better days or they will just stop calling you and complaining because it doesn't work for them. You don't jump in the mud with them anymore. They're going to have to call somebody who will moan and complain with them, which is fine, because that's like attracts, like right there and you're not like that.
Speaker 1:And so it just gets sweeter, because now your world can be more like by law of attraction. You're not trying to push them away, because when we push something away, we're bringing it to us. You get more and we're just saying this is my set point, this is who I be, this is who I am, and this is how I roll most of the time. And the universe is going. Yeah, I know. Yeah, so more of that is coming your way. More of that is coming your way because we're not. You know, when you're upset about somebody being negative or somebody giving you a hard time or doing something you don't want them to do, you're giving your attention to that, right, and so now that's where your energy's at. So now that's the, the sort of level of the department store you're shopping on.
Speaker 2:Well, I've kind of learned when something or someone negative pops up, I try to go back and look at, well, what was I thinking, what was I feeling or thinking at the time? And usually there's something like I can pinpoint something. Um, like if I, if I get a something from work, an email that's annoying or whatever, and I can just go back and think, oh well, well, I was thinking about I don't know the bad weather, for example, or something something negative, then something else, something will manifest at that point. That's negative, something, something unwanted.
Speaker 1:That kind of stuff can affect our entire life, not just our work life, you know. So when you're thinking maybe things about work, you're noticing how catty people are being and how they're not really finding solutions that well, and they're being. You end up finding stuff like that in your personal life too.
Speaker 2:Yes, you end up finding stuff like that in your personal life too.
Speaker 1:Yes, it just starts to creep in everywhere. Or if you're watching the, maybe the decline of the company and you're concerned about the decline of the company, you'll start to see things decline in your world too. So you can notice the decline in a company but not feel it, not worry about it, not join in with it. You can lightly observe it but know that that's the company's stuff and you'll be fine, no matter what. Because usually people worry about it because they care about the company, but they also care about where their job is going to go if the company tanks. Right. So think to yourself it's okay, I'll be all right, no matter what, I'll be fine. Yeah, no, think to yourself it's okay, I'll be all right, no matter what, I'll be fine, no matter how this goes, and you will be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, and that's where. That's where I turn it around sometimes. You know, if I something, if I'm noticing something negative at home or with work or whatever, I will kind of talk myself out of it. This will work out Like that's one of my go-to things, this will work out, or this too shall pass, or, you know, whatever, I have my little sayings that I say to myself when things are turning away that I don't want them to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and remember, there's honey in everything. So even though something looks off, right. There's still honey in it and maybe it's just the perception that's off. So it really is helpful for us to just keep our own counsel and ask those questions, like you said. Like how is this helping me? Or is this helping the organization or my child or my relatives, if I, if I know I'm right, like I know I'm right, they should not be acting that way towards me? Well, yeah, you're right, but you being upset about it isn't helping anybody.
Speaker 2:Well, one of my go-to phrases is would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Bingo and I don't ask myself that all the time.
Speaker 1:And mainly because everybody thinks they're right. You can have three people with three different ideas about something or decisions, and they all think they're right and they will justify it through their perspective and so, for them, maybe they're each right, or maybe you're right, yeah, so it's. Yeah, it is healthy to say, well, hey, we're all different.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you know, if you think to yourself, my happiness is important to me, my happiness counts, then you'll just keep following that trail as often as you can and remember not to beat yourself up when you're not doing it or when you are. Somebody just really ticked you off and you're just mad. Well then, go ahead and be mad, because pushing against being mad makes you madder, right, and it brings more things to be mad about, right, and it's funny, and this is something people probably wouldn't expect from me. But for the last couple weeks I have found myself like if something just kind of gets me for a second you know, this is just between me and me, because I'm not around anybody else when I'm doing this but it's like you know the M or F word it's like something.
Speaker 2:I'll just go.
Speaker 1:I'm a rougher, but I say the whole thing because it just feels good to say it and I laugh at myself because I'm like I'm not doing that in a negative way, but there's some relief in it that just resets me for a minute and then it's sort of like a funny thing, and then you move on, you know, and it's, it's so much healthier to do that than to really give into that moment of you know, like, even if it's something so simple, like you go to pick this up and it starts to drop, and you go to grab it and it drops even more, and then you go to and then three other things drop.
Speaker 1:you know, and you weren't going to have those moments that we just don't like a lot. And then cause that happened to me there was sauce on the floor, there was pasta sauce on the floor, and it's just one of those moments where you think I, I don't like this, but I but I learned to like, look at it like that, and I might say that.
Speaker 1:And then I look at it like okay, everything has its purpose, Even if it's something weird like that that causes you to recognize that's not important. Like, yeah, some stuff fell and now there's pasta sauce. I have to clean it up. You know there's a throw rug in the kitchen. Had to clean it off of that too. You know, like it's okay, like that this stuff is.
Speaker 1:Maybe there's a really good reason why that happened maybe that set me on a course that I wouldn't have gone on otherwise, you know right whether it's the big stuff or the little stuff we have to be willing to, to go there, you know, and to find the honey in it. So you have some more food for thought. Now, yeah, and some what's the word? I want some reassurance in how you can navigate and that you are doing a pretty darn good job, and I think it's nice to let yourself know that. You know, give yourself credit for that and just, if nothing else, say to yourself I'm so glad, I'm not like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, maybe at some point in my I'm sure whether it was this life or life before, life before, I'm sure we were negative and we were.
Speaker 1:We were what we don't like in other people. We were the jerks or we were the whatever we've, because we want to see life through a lot of different lenses. But it is, it feels good to say, oh, you know, I've just, I'm so glad I'm not like that, like it's okay that they are, but it feels really good to be me and not go there and to not want to go there and not to have the strong habit of going there. Yeah, so as you go around your negative people, you can enjoy them and love them, though Put your self in a state of mind that says you know, I really I like myself and I like them too, and I don't have to like their negativity, but I can certainly be around it and I can respect everybody's journey here, even our kids, yeah. And then when it really gets, you go pet a dog or a cat or look at, look at nature and listen to this podcast, something like that you just find something anything.
Speaker 2:Definitely. I listened to a lot of podcasts and YouTube videos and that really it really helps. It really does.
Speaker 1:You know, another thing that helps too is to just like get a pen or pencil, whatever paper, and just write some things down that feel good, because it'll have, it'll get you to focus in a way that slows you down a little bit, and it's just you and you. It's just you and your inner being in that moment thinking positively.
Speaker 2:Well, you had suggested in one of your Zoom classes that I took to maybe write down every day something positive that happened and I've been doing that. That's fantastic, doing that every night Good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And for anybody that doesn't take the time or doesn't want to write things down before you go to bed at night, what were some really nice things that happened today? Because a lot of people lay down to go to sleep and they go oh, that was, and then I have that tomorrow and that didn't go well, right, and oh man, what could actually go well tomorrow? And then, when you get up in the morning, think to yourself what could go really well today, like how my life is what I say it is. So how do I want this to be today? How do I want it to be? Because our life really is what we say it is.
Speaker 1:So when we start saying it the way we want it, we see the evidence of that, instead of saying it the way we don't want it or the way it used to be, or the way we hope it doesn't be. We see the evidence of that. It's our choice. So true, and it really is a choice. Yeah, and that's why I say think on purpose. Think on purpose because you can. Yeah, yeah. So thank you so much, mary, for being here and sharing your thoughts. Very helpful, thank you're very welcome, and so for all of you out there, thank you.