Mystical Truths Podcast

Reimagining Funerals: Honoring the Deceased or Stressing the Living?

• Rebecca Troup • Season 3 • Episode 16

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Have you ever wondered if traditional funeral practices are helpful to the living? Or do they add weight to an already heavy time? Do those who have passed have an opinion about what happens after they die? Do they prefer that we mourn them in sadness or find them in joy? Join us on Mystical Truths as Mary and I tackle these poignant questions, drawing from Mary's recent experience with the death of her husband's cousin. Together, we unravel how these events have transformed our views on funerals and whether they bring comfort or merely uphold societal expectations. With a bit of humor, we delve into the heart of what it means to commemorate a loved one, challenging the necessity of elaborate ceremonies and costly caskets.

As we navigate our thoughts on traditional burials, we confront the reality of embalming and the symbolic "forever bed." You’ll hear compelling thoughts and personal anecdotes about why simpler methods, such as cremation and scattering ashes, may offer more meaningful tributes. This episode is a light and humorous discussion that invites listeners to consider how they’d prefer to be remembered. 

In our exploration of burial options, we shed light on innovative and sustainable practices, from green burials to donating bodies to medical science. By examining these alternatives, we aim to inspire our listeners to think outside the box and reflect on what truly matters during that time of change. Our goal is to provide a thoughtful perspective that respects the deceased's wishes and offers genuine comfort to the living. Tune in as we advocate for more personal, environmentally conscious ways to celebrate life and big change.

References:
National Home Funeral Alliance
BodyWorlds.com
Everloved.com/articles/funeral-planning/7-alternatives-to-burial-cremation

Your Likes, Follows, and Shares are noticed & appreciated.
For personal guidance, you can reach Rebecca at:
MysticalTruths.com
rebecca@mysticaltruths.com

A big Thank You to CreativeCommons.org
Audiorezout. 14.Be Happy.mp3
for the music. Much appreciated!

Rebecca Troup:

Welcome to the Mystical Truths Podcast. This is Rebecca, and I'm really glad you're here. Let's unlock your world. I'd like to welcome back to the show Mary, who would like to talk today about funerals. I really am looking forward to this topic. So, Hi, Mary.

Mary:

Welcome back, Hi. Thanks for having me.

Rebecca Troup:

So you had some thoughts about funerals Lik hat bugs you o

Mary:

o d y r l? Okay, well, what really bugs me? As you know, I've recently had a loved one pass away, but a couple of months ago my husband had a cousin who had passed away and we went to the funeral home for t, the viewing and all that stuff and and I'm thinking, I m I I knew this guy for a long time but hadn't seen him in years. He hated funerals, h, h, h, he was one that unless it was like someone who was l super close, he would not go and everybody kind of always looked down on him. or that, myself included, I would think, wow, that's kind of cold. Well now, I mean I've completely changed my view about it I.

Mary:

I can't stand going. I c s g and you know, I think I told you this, h last r last person that I knew that passed away. Um, I didn't find out about the funeral until after the i fact w and t was. It was a mixed blessing. I felt a little bit guilty because I didn't go, but relieved at the same time.

Rebecca Troup:

Isn't that interesting.

Mary:

Yeah.

Rebecca Troup:

And so the, the gentleman that died did, did they have a funeral for him.

Mary:

They did have a funeral. We went to the viewing. We did not go have a funeral. We went to the viewing, we did not go to the funeral. We both had to work.

Rebecca Troup:

So, even though he didn't like funerals at all, was it his decision to have the funeral before he died? , o . n . was going to say that's kind of odd that you know he would not like funerals so much, yet he a allow one to be put together for him.

Mary:

The family put it together, his sisters put it together for him and you know, there weren't a lot of people there, but there were a few that came out of the woodwork that hadn't also hadn't seen him in years and and all I could think was why it's too late to to talk to him now. And I mean, and to be honest, in his later years he had decided he really didn't want to have much contact with anybody. I mean, we had made efforts to go see him and talk to him, but he, j h, really just he wanted to be alone. Yeah, yeah.

Rebecca Troup:

I think we should honor that, if that's really what people want.

Mary:

Yeah, yeah.

Rebecca Troup:

And I find it interesting really that you know that he just did not like funerals. Yet they had one anyway, which is not necessarily honoring him or the person that he was. It was honoring their maybe mourning process or the way they felt that they needed to go through that process.

Mary:

I guess Right, and I mean. I've always said that funerals are for the survivors and not for the person who has passed.

Rebecca Troup:

Sure, you know, we say that we have the funeral to honor them and to take time to remember them, to come together, which is all great. But two, it's for the people that are still alive. Because we like ceremonies Usually we like to make a big deal out of things. It may help people go through that grieving process, but then also it may even make it worse. In my opinion, because I've never been a fan of funerals and I've had many, especially when I was younger a lot of family members dying off and whatnot, and I always thought, you know, this is just invited torture. In my opinion, because, yes, it gives you some closure, it gives you you can actually see the dead body and know that the person is not in it anymore. But I mean, why not just have one or two people see the dead body and then just tell everybody else I saw the dead body? It's really, you know this person's really dead, right only because it what a process it is and an expense and it's. It's a lot of drama and it's a lot of pain.

Rebecca Troup:

You know, once the more I started to learn about the death process and after death and all of that, I was actually excited going to funerals because I was too able to really tap into what was really going on and w sometimes sense . energy w of that soul there. And I had to watch because after I really started to get this, then the next couple funerals I went to I had a smile on my face. I'm just really loving the whole thought that this person is done with the physical experience and no longer physically focused. It felt a w and I thought, oh, I have to really watch myself because people are going to think that's disrespectful and that I don't honor. You know what y call their loss.

Rebecca Troup:

And I remember o growing up seeing all kinds of drama at funerals people just throwing themselves over the body and why did you do this to me? Or just days of sorrow and feeling really bad about the death experience and the whole. It's part of life. You know this is something that we have the opportunity to watch animals and insects and people come and go, come and go while we're still here that this is all temporary and that the animals just show us in and out. They come in and out, in and out.

Rebecca Troup:

This is not a big dramatic thing. And when we start funerals, to understand what's really going on for the ", we're excited about one coming in and we're really excited about one that's withdrawing focus. And people say, well, I know my, you know my mother or my aunt, whatever, I know that they're okay, they're in a better place, why not? People hope that, I think, and maybe they, maybe they found a way to really know that. So at that point, what are we really doing then? Do we think they're okay? We believe they're okay, but now we have to get used to the adjustment. Right, and we can do that much more easily if we don't make it a big, awful, terrible deal.

Rebecca Troup:

And that's why so many people don't like funerals, because it's it's not easy being at a funeral. First of all, nobody really wants to be there. No, you feel obligated to be there and you're walking into w a where you have y. k Whether m you feel like it or not, you have to be. There are certain rules, right. You w can n hook up online funeral etiquette. You know the things they that m t or shouldn't do, say whatever at funerals, because we have set these rules or D w, t and t I o get it that.

Rebecca Troup:

It's to be respectful and to honor, you know, somebody i else's process or their religious beliefs or whatever it might be, and that's, you know, we should N all ou this, however we want to do it, but I, to me, it just is hether a lot of unnecessary pain or just uncomfortableness. Even if people aren't necessarily mourning the person, it's still very look uncomfortable and then we all gather together with our sad energy and expect that to help somehow, and it doesn't help. I think the more people learn about what life is like outside of this life, I think we would be much more prone to celebrate the person's life and get a lot easier about life and death. You know, I was looking at, just looking up a few ideas, you know, about the, because I thought, yeah, what about the funeral stuff? You know what about it? it's one of the first things I just happened to come across online was this video of a man in a casket talking about how to select a casket, and he said you know, you really should choose wisely, because this is your loved one's forever bed. It's where they'll rest for eternity. And then he said it's creepy, yeah. And then he said, or at creepy, yeah. And then he said, or, at least until the Lord comes back. So choose wisely, because, also, this is going to be the casket that everyone else will see.

Rebecca Troup:

Oh, my goodness and I thought wow, what, what, the forever bed you know, it's not . forever bed. You could that you y could k say it is, but it's a dead body. Right, it's literally a dead body. It doesn't need pillows, it doesn't need a fancy box, even it's okay if you want to do that, but to me I would prefer that we give it back to the earth.

Rebecca Troup:

Why would we think that we should take the body that somebody was in and put it in sometimes a very expensive box or monument of some type and leave it there forever, why? And then we can go and visit that which may help us feel more connected to the person that was in A You know, everybody has their own relationship they're not in that body, they don't belong with that body anymore. And then I wondered if that man was saying you know, put them in their forever bed, make it nice, make it comfortable, pick it out so everybody else thinks it's a good choice, or that you, this person, was important, or whatever that is Like you're buying a car.

Rebecca Troup:

Yeah, and then I thought so until the Lord comes back t So bed? you k know It's , I thought, yeah, Y well c what ou about the embalming process? Now, I know the Lord can do anything, but if you think about it, there's so much done to that body.

Mary:

It's not like, oh my gosh, well. Well, my biggest thought is, especially with a, you know, a traditional casket burial embalming the whole bit, do you really want to think of your loved one being planted in the ground like that, like entombed forever?

Rebecca Troup:

Yeah, Like if I could see through the walls, if I S t through t dirt eah in the walls of the casket. I can see that body laying "Lord, decaying, yeah, yeah.

Mary:

Yeah, it's to o m. g It's w and it and it always has been horrifying to me to even think about that. I mean, my preference is cremation and scatter me somewhere. I want to be free.

Rebecca Troup:

Well, you know, doing that would save a lot of people in the past from waking up in a casket in the ground, because that's happened many times. That's why they used to have the bells, like the little bells.

Mary:

Yes, i, yes, yes, oh Lord. a That's i why they used to have the bells, like the little bells.

Rebecca Troup:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, would've saved, you know it's just funny what we do out of, I don't know, fear, tradition, honoring somebody. And in the first video eventually used used came to on like the funeral bell i ., the embalming and whatnot, because I remembered in the long time ago I saw a documentary that was done about some students that were going to school, you know, to mortuary school, and I remember them saying this is a, this is quite a process, and they were showing the different, some of the different steps and they said we have to wash the body, like every single piece of the body that we can get to, because of the decay process. And I thought so. Does anybody really think about the fact? No, you're dead, you don't as a soul, you don't care what anybody does with your body, but so when you leave your body, you're giving your body to some people. Maybe you know them, maybe the funeral director is your neighbor or, you know, lives in your town, and now your naked body is on that table and every piece that they can get to needs to be even under the fingernails, in between the folds of places, and all that has to be cleaned out really well. And he showed all these chemicals.

Rebecca Troup:

The video I found was a man who was special permission. Usually you're not allowed in the l, but since this is a video, I got special permission that we can do this. So he's showing all of these instruments and eye caps and, like the things they do to like make the face look the way it should, as best they can, because it's dying. You know, the body, after the soul leaves it takes a while for the body to actually die. So yeah.

Rebecca Troup:

So they not y have y to o L all, but then of course they have to drain the blood, they have to put particular fluids into the A. n And it was just watching this process. l they we was he was using a dummy like a fake i, t but he said we even have to puncture the hollow organs and drain them and then insert cavity fluid. And so all of this done, and especially even the hair, the makeup, eventually, after all this preservation and removal of certain things has happened, then they dress the body and put it in the pretty box and leave half of the box open so that everybody can see. And he said they usually do have pants on or whatever oes on the bottom, but usually a N of times no shoes and I thought sure, because we don't really need shoes, they're not running off anywhere nobody.

Rebecca Troup:

Nobody's going to see them ever Donate them. But so you know, I thought that's just a whole lot of stuff. Personally, I'm going for the cremation or a couple other things that we'll talk about.

Mary:

Not that there's a good funeral, but the best funeral that I had ever been to was my brother. He passed away and he knew he was, his health wasn't great. He pre-planned everything and it's a little odd for me because I never got to see him. They just they took him from where he passed away to the funeral home and he was cremated right away. I never saw the body. It's just because everyone else that I've ever had to deal with in that regard I saw the body. I didn't see his, but in some ways it was a lot better. He just had a little memorial service at the funeral home and then we went to lunch after and that was it. I mean, it was like it was everything total was over within like four hours and it was a lot less traumatic, I They're say that which helps n healing process, the grieving, Right, if there is any.

Mary:

my, it was the whole shebang. It was two days viewing church service, watching the casket go into the ground, the whole. I have vibrant memories of that and it's not good.

Rebecca Troup:

It really isn't. I think it teaches kids to make a horrible scene out of death in a big, tragic, sad, long drawn out process. And I always say I'm fine with however anybody wants to do it. It's up to them. But for me, you know, that's just the way I view it and I just I'm up for if anybody wants to see my body when I died, that's fine. I go ahead and look at it. If it helps you get that closure.

Rebecca Troup:

I'm going to have somebody on an episode fairly soon who did need to see her husband. She wasn't with him when he passed and I can't wait to tell that story because when she did see him there was a huge piece of information there that that helped her and just it's just pretty. I don't even want to give it away, it's just really, really cool. And so there's that. You know, if you want to see it, see it. If you really don't feel like you need to see the body, then don't.

Rebecca Troup:

But for me there will be no laying out process. I don't need to be laid out. I don't need people to come and honor my life or help my family or whatever in that way, because that to me is just hard, just hard. I would much rather and my kids already know have me cremated, unless I choose one of the other couple things we're going to talk about here, but have me just taken care of in that sense, and then, just if you want to, I don't, I'm not even going to tell them to do this. Celebrate my life, do.

Rebecca Troup:

However you want to do that If you want to just sit and talk about some things.

Rebecca Troup:

that's fine, a and talk about some things, that's fine. If you want to have a group of people together, that's fine too, because that's for you. At that point, whatever you need to do to make it a happy occasion, j I h will be there. I'll totally be there for it know, but I won't be in my body, and you're just going to have to get used to that, because that's what we have to do here. We have to get used to the reality of life does go on, yes, even when we're not physically focused anymore.

Mary:

I totally get the close family.. If like husbands, wives, sons, moms, dads, close knit family. Absolutely. I do believe they should be able to see them. You know, briefly, but that, like you said, the whole process, the whole being laid out and having people that haven't seen you in 10 years, that are just like curious.

Rebecca Troup:

You know, you know, but yeah, and a even like I mean, we have religious funerals, non-religious, with a celebration of life. There are green funerals, where everything about the body and how it's taken care of after that is biodegradable. Yes, um, there are gravesite services without the whole laying the body out thing. There you can can do burial at sea, which can be ashes or the whole body, depending on where you can get permission. And then there are there's a, I guess, a whole o of the home funeral experience. There is a national home funeral alliance.

Rebecca Troup:

I watched a video of a few women from that alliance and it's a. They've got a full website, all the instructions. There's all kinds of material resources on there, even the legalities behind it. But in this video they showed the process that they are trained to go through to help a family have a home funeral, and what they do is they wash the whole body because they're not going to embalm it, so the body is going to decay quickly, so, so this can't be anything. And they even gave you information on, like outdoor temperature or indoor temperature, like how not to let weird things happen with the body. And so they wash it, they prepare it in certain ways, they use herbs and things like that to keep the smell decent.

Mary:

Right, right y. k

Rebecca Troup:

And they suggest that even the family wash the body. It's like a ceremony where the family can kids included, if you want, can wash the body and tell stories as you see a scar here or calluses on the hand. It just brings up stories and even laughter if, like some body fluids or air escapes from the body while you're in the process. They're like humor can be a part of this and I thought it was kind of cool. But I thought, okay, but again, I don't want my family washing my body, not for any other reason, that if I had to wash my parents' body after they died, I don't know I could do it. But I just don't.

Rebecca Troup:

Like, why, like, why? Why? You know what. Let's just hire you. You know, we can hire you to wash the body Because they wrap it, they put clothes on it and then they wrap it in a shroud and put flowers on top, and you, you know, then the family can come in and do whatever they want to do, you know, ceremony, or just say goodbye or whatever. But this is done at home and I thought, well, that's sure, why not? I mean, if that's what works for somebody, that's another option. Um, but it would have to be a kind of quick one oh, yeah, I also also came across this article of 74 ways to never say die.

Rebecca Troup:

And so instead you say like past or perished, or on the other side, resting in peace, or the person unalived themselves. And I had to read it I'm like unalived themselves, and I had to re-dig it I'm like unalived themselves, which is what you say if somebody commits suicide the person unalived themselves. And I thought so can't we just say like they died and that they committed, like they just killed themselves? You don't have to say committed suicide, because it sounds like that's just weird. But they took their own life, they ended their own life, they chose to leave and withdraw focus from the body. They did it on purpose, because, again, we don't have to make that a big hairy deal either.

Mary:

Right.

Rebecca Troup:

Because maybe if we didn't, people passed wouldn't do it in ways that are kind of extreme and hard for the family to see. But I feel that if somebody wants to voluntarily leave this we have complete freedom to do that. We're not in any trouble for it. It's not a horrible idea. It also is not the best option. A horrible idea. It also is not the best option because, generally speaking, once that happens, the soul withdraws focus and then sort of has thoughts along the lines of oh, like I was that far into that life, I probably could have done some things and approached it a different way, and maybe I should have just stuck that out. But it's not, it's it's. There's no guilt there, though you know. There's no like feeling like you're in trouble. It's just a realization of, well, you know what. I probably could have gone further with that, but I didn't.

Mary:

Yeah.

Rebecca Troup:

Now I see what that has caused, maybe for other people, but I think we also see that the reason why it torments other people is because of their own beliefs about death and dying. So that has to be considered too. You know, whether somebody dies naturally or they take their own life, what that does to the people still here in bodies is not on the soul left. That's on us. You know what we do with it and how that torments us or compliments us going forward. That's really on us and there's always going to be, I'm sure, an adjustment for anybody, depending on how much that person affected your life day to day. There will be an adjustment with that change, but it doesn't have to be so painful and so sad and as awful as we've made it out to be. And then, like you said, having a funeral on top of that just drags it out.

Rebecca Troup:

So I thought what are the other options today? You know, to just that embalming and put the body in a box and whether you have a layout or not, what are the options there? The body in a box and whether you have a layout or not, what are the options there? And so some of the other ones are to go green, which means let's see so in the green burial process. It's foregoing the embalming and it's even certified by a green burial council in which it says the use of biodegradable burial containers or shroud, I guess, are given to the family. So it's yeah, basically, if the body is embalmed, they use environmentally friendly products, and then the container that the body or the remains are put in would be biodegradable as well. So everything about that, even if the person has clothes or whatever, everything has to be biodegradable or the body has clothes Makes sense.

Rebecca Troup:

And then there's rest at sea. They say it's originally used or was originally used primarily for those who died while serving, like in the Navy. But interest in full body burials at sea is increasing, mainly because of the eco-friendly nature of it.

Mary:

Right.

Rebecca Troup:

Because some people just have a real connection to the sea. So in this case the body would be put overboard in a biodegradable weighted shroud and, I guess, just left to nature which is fine, and they say that can cost upwards of $10,000.

Mary:

Oh wow, really Wow, that seems pricey.

Rebecca Troup:

It is just to like be put in something and dumped.

Mary:

Right, because you're not going through all the embalming process and any of that. You think it would be cheaper.

Rebecca Troup:

Well, there probably are legalities that you have to go through and pay for and all that kind of stuff, I'm sure. And then you can liquefy yourself. Well, you can liquefy, you can have your body liquefied, all right, that's gross.

Rebecca Troup:

They describe this one as alkaline hydrolysis is emerging as a new alternative to cremation. The process involves submerging a body in a heated alkali solution of potassium hydroxide. This mimics the body's natural process of breaking down, but takes only a few hours instead of many years. Alkaline hydrolysis is also recognized as a greener alternative, using a fraction of the energy of a standard cremation. So I guess you just have to. It's legal in at least 15 states, but you'd have to check your state to make sure you could liquefy yourself.

Mary:

Sounds like something from the Sopranos or something.

Rebecca Troup:

Or Roger Rabbit.

Mary:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rebecca Troup:

A fourth one is and some of these are really cool. I think a lot of us know about this one. The fourth one is you can contribute the body to modern medicine to help doctors learn, you know, as they're going through school, which is a really nice idea. When I was in the medical profession I would take classes occasionally down to Oakland to the medical lab, where we were able to do that. We were able to see jars of like different body parts and then sometimes they'd have a body there and they are a couple of bodies, and they would show us the processes. They were, their stages. Maybe they were at of sort of opening up the body and looking and learning.

Rebecca Troup:

I don't know if you're allowed to do that anymore, though. Here's another one you can use your body to help fight crime. By donating your body to a forensic research facility, you can help teach students important factors about body decomposition and influence, guidance given to police for evaluating crime scenes, which means you can be helping professionals solve real crimes. So they say, similar to donating your body to a medical school, you give it to, I guess, law enforcement, and in certain states it's not in every state, so that's kind of why I never thought about the fact that you could donate your body to forensic research, to help professionals learn about.

Mary:

I never would have thought learn about. I never would have thought.

Rebecca Troup:

And all of this is from the website everlovedcom. Another one is, and this one I really like. I don't know if I'm going to do this one, but I really like it. You can become art, yeah, it says. Oh, if you're, it gets really good. Though it's not weird, because when I first saw that I thought, oh, okay, is this like where we use menstrual blood to create art on a?

Mary:

thing, as I've seen the body's exposition that they it was running here for a while I think it was at the science center, um, and I guess it's a traveling thing. I've not that I ever went to it. Um, and I guess it's a traveling thing. I've not that I ever went to it. But is that what they're talking about? Something like that. Like, I guess they use actual cadavers and they, like I don't know, they pose them. I don't know how. I've never been so it was.

Rebecca Troup:

Yeah, that must be, because the website that they link on here is called body worlds. So I looked it up and it's really fascinating. They have had, as of January of this year, well over 21,000 bodies donated to them and they use a process called plastination. So I mean you can look up bodyworldscom if anybody wants to really read about it further. But it's a very long drawn out process. It takes about a year.

Rebecca Troup:

But they go through different measures to remove skin and fatty tissue. Resin was one of the things that they use in part of this process too, but they have to inject stuff that gets into like every single cell. So they do first what's called fixation and anatomical dissection, which is taking away the skin and the fatty tissue They've got to get bacteria out of the way and then the removal of any excess extra body fat after that process, and then water. They have to remove water from the body. And then there's what they call enforced impregnation, which the specimen is placed in a bath of liquid polymer, such as silicon, rubber or epoxy resin, and by creating a vacuum, the acetone boils at a low temperature. As the acetone vaporizes and leaves the cells, it draws the liquid polymer in, so the polymer can penetrate every cell and then they position the cells.

Rebecca Troup:

It draws the liquid polymer in, so the polymer can penetrate every cell and then they position the body because it's still pliable at this point. So since the body is still movable, they can put it into these interesting positions. And they say they really have to know their anatomy to make sure that they are placing the body in a way that it actually would stretch or bend or whatever, and then they have a curing process which hardens it then and it stays in that position. However they may position it as somebody, sort of in a running position or in a sitting thinking position. So I like that your body can become real art. And this is all over the world. By the way, they have stationary like that's a traveling thing that you were talking about, but they have stationary museums that you can go to and see these collections.

Rebecca Troup:

It almost sounds like a wax museum In a sense, yeah, and they say that this was really somebody's body, though like they didn't just create this and it looks really good, this what you're looking at. Somebody lived in this body, wow. And then they have other parts almost like taxidermy yeah, without the skin and the fatty tissue.

Rebecca Troup:

They have animal exhibits too. They even have like body part, like the heart, you know, so that people and this is even for medical students too can learn by looking directly at a real heart that's just been preserved to just sort of stand in air so that it can be viewed in 3D. Another thing you can do is make cars safer. Never thought about this one either. Apparently, since, like 19, the 1930s bodies have been donated to researchers to do crash testing.

Rebecca Troup:

Oh my gosh so that they can see what really happens to the body. Oh my gosh, yeah, oh, wow. And then another is your body can be returned to soil. But in this case they say May 21st 2020, washington State became the first state to allow legal human composting as a method of disposition for the deceased. If you choose this method, your body will naturally decompose and will become usable soil that's returned to your family. The soil can be used to plant trees, start a garden or can be spread somewhere of your choosing.

Mary:

That makes a lot of sense.

Rebecca Troup:

Yeah, They'll actually let your body decay quickly into compost that your family can receive the soil, use it to plant a garden. I don't know why not Like it seems funny to you know, to kind of think about it. But it's a really good idea because I like the fact that we, we should, I think we should return the body to the earth, and that's just one creative way to do it.

Mary:

Right and and you're, it's usable, it's, there's no waste.

Rebecca Troup:

I mean I'm sure people would get weird with it and say, well, you know, we put this in our garden or is it sort of like we're eating our the body of that was, I don't know? I mean, I'm sure people could get weird with it.

Mary:

Well, you can. You can do something, you know, if you plant just an oak tree or something like that.

Rebecca Troup:

I mean Well. And two, I mean everything is there's been a lot going back into the soil? I mean dinosaurs right in our soil, you know so. It's all edible and you know, in that sense, that if you think it's repurposed, this is just energy that is reworking itself, recycling itself. So it's not really that body at all. This is energy that we're talking about. That is like when you burn a box. You know, when you burn a box, the box doesn't go away, it changes the makeup, right, okay. And then the last one is you can become a true oh the box doesn't go away.

Rebecca Troup:

It changes the makeup, right, okay. And then the last one is you can become a tree. Oh no, there's two more, sorry. You can become a tree, your body can become a tree, so the ashes can be mixed in with soil to grow a tree. And then the last one is you can have your ashes sent into space.

Mary:

Oh yeah, I've heard about that one.

Rebecca Troup:

Yeah, I heard about it briefly too, a while back. They say so if you prefer to leave our atmosphere and be sent into the unknown, you can choose to have your ashes sent into space with companies like Celestis, I guess. So yeah, celestis is C-E-L-E-S-T-I-S and they say you have multiple options of placement and orbit, including the option to have your remains sent to the moon. Now, I'm sure that those options are probably more than $10,000. Oh yeah.

Rebecca Troup:

Out of my budget, you know you can't take your money with you anyway, so why not spend it on a sort of like giving it back to nature? I mean it is, I mean whatever happens to it after that. But yeah, so I mean we have options. You know we don't have to do the the tough, sad, long drawn out funerals, or actually we don't have to do them because we're not in our body anymore at that point and we're just having to watch the people that we knew here go through all of that. And I'm sure anybody on the other side is saying to them honestly, like you don't have to do all this, you don't have to torture yourselves like this. If that's what's really happening, because you know from the other side it's it's ease and love, ease and love. You know they want to see us happy, they want to. If it makes us happy to have a funeral, if it makes us feel better, maybe even if it soothes something in us, maybe even if it soothes something in us, that's fine. But if it's uncomfortable, if it's hurtful, if it's really sad or makes things worse, they're still going to be fine with it because we're free, we get to do this life however we want to, but they're not going to be on board with it, like we.

Rebecca Troup:

Some people might think, you know, and I know too, that some people think if we don't have a show and we don't feel really sad, then that soul, who I believe is still living on, will think I don't care or that I don't think that their life was important, which is not accurate, because from the other side, we don't judge life that way at all. They know what's in your heart, they know how you feel and they're okay with it. However, there's no judgment at all and there's nobody on the other side as far as I've ever connected with or have learned that has passed and is thinking well, how about that? They didn't have a big enough, showy enough funeral. And look at that casket it's barely a box. I guess they don't love me and I guess they don't appreciate the life that I had there.

Rebecca Troup:

There's never that coming from the other side there. There's never that coming from the other side. You know it's just love and respect for us, with an understanding that we get caught up in some ideas here that we feel obligated to run with, and that's okay. But there's still streaming to us the ease that we could choose instead. They're still streaming to us the ease that we could choose instead. How do you want your end to play out when you're, when you have withdrawn your focus from your body? Have you decided what you want, done after that?

Mary:

I definitely don't want the big show. Of course I want my immediate family to be able to say goodbye. Of course, if they want to go out and have a picnic or a nice meal or whatever you know afterwards and reminisce, that's great. But I'm for cremation or some kind of natural burial would be fine. I don't want to be entombed in a forever box. I mean preferably, I don't know, I envision being scattered over Mount Washington or something like that, because I always liked the view. There you go.

Rebecca Troup:

And you'll still be able to see that view after you die, if you want.

Mary:

This is true, this is true.

Rebecca Troup:

It will not be unviewable by you. View after you die. If you want this, this is true. This is true. It will not be unviewable by you. My preference is, you know, I let my kids know what I think is a good idea, and then they.

Rebecca Troup:

But they can do it however they want right, yeah you know, my preference would be short and sweet, whatever fits their adjustment to me, not focused through my physical body anymore. Whatever fits their adjustment to me, not focused through my physical body anymore. Whatever fits the you know the adjustment for them. That isn't I mean. I don't even want something like if it's traumatic, like you're going through this adjustment, but now you have to organize this big celebration of life.

Mary:

Right.

Rebecca Troup:

If it's, if it's too much or if it's not, don't do it. I've told him I will always know that you love me. So whatever you do, however you want to do it, that's really up to you. Find your ease in it. If you want to do a funeral, even though it wasn't my preference, do it, because I'm going to be on the other side thinking, okay, hey, if it rings your bells, do it. You know, just like I've had people come to me and say, well, they didn't do what this loved one wanted done after the person died, and that's just terrible. That's wrong.

Rebecca Troup:

And now that person, the soul that was that person, is probably very upset, and they really aren't. They're looking for our happiness. They're looking for our joy. They're looking for what lights up for us, that's what rings their bells. They're looking for our joy. They're looking for what lights up for us, that's what brings their bells. They're not upset that we don't honor them or whatever in ways that we thought, while we were in a human body, were going to be important. So if somebody says to you I want a big funeral or I want I don't know, I want to shoot me into space, or this is what I want after I pass. Once they're passed, they're not tied to any of that anymore, so you really can do whatever you want. It's going to be so much better and agreed with from the other side. If you do it from love, if you do it because it feels good to you, because it fits for you, it assists your adjustment process. They're all for it.

Mary:

I think a lot of people fall into the trap of tradition just what they think everybody else expects.

Rebecca Troup:

And you know it seems like we've been doing this for a long, long time on this planet and you know there are different cultures that do things maybe way different than what we've mentioned here in this episode, but in any case, it seems like we have a pretty long history of making a whole process out of the transition experience for the person in the past, which is, I mean, I think it's great in so many ways, but I do think I agree that only when it feels good, only when it's really a true Right.

Rebecca Troup:

A true I don't even want to call it celebration a true release or relief or you know moments of adjustment, Comfort, Comfort, yeah, For the people here. So I don't know, Maybe we have sparked some new thoughts and I think, as we go further into the future, I think more and more people and that's why you're seeing with you know the article that I read with different types, different choices, even more eco-friendly choices. That's why we're seeing more of this, because I really believe that we're moving more into ease on a lot of things, not just death and funerals, but I think we're moving more and more into more natural things, in more ways of ease, and I think it does feel better to a lot of people to think well, when I don't need my body anymore, it will be returned to the earth or become useful in some manner.

Rebecca Troup:

You can donate body parts. Why not do that? You don't have to donate the whole body, but you can donate a lot of tissue from the body and then have whatever done. That you want done, I mean, and I prefer that too that's my thing to be a donor. I would much rather somebody benefit Right From parts of my body after I'm done with it than to have it all just chucked back into the earth or burned or whatever stuff. Sure, Take pieces off of it. You know it's like it's no different than a car. When you get out of your car you don't need it anymore. If you're done with that car, then maybe somebody could use the tires. Maybe somebody else needs the engine for their vehicle or whatever Part it out.

Mary:

Yeah, yeah, make some use out of it.

Rebecca Troup:

Because, you know, the human body is a machine, it's a living, breathing machine and we know that while we're in it we can have parts replaced. So why not let some of those parts go and help somebody else when we don't?

Mary:

need them anymore. It is amazing, it is so well you know, I wish you.